It's 1:00am and I'm spackling my bathroom so I can paint it in the morning.
(Who the hell is knocking at my door? )
Me: umm can I help you? (don't recognize this man)
Man: Yeah, well, did you know someone is beating on your car?
Man: Yeah- I just watched him try to smash your car in with a shovel. He looked drunk.
Man: Your car looks fine but I wanted you to know.
Me: umm okay. (apparently he lives below me)
*we proceed out to my car, both of us in pj's and slippers*
Me: Well, atleast he had the courtesy to leave me the shovel.
Man: I called the cops for you. They're already looking for the man.
Me: How far can a drunken man walk without the sherriff's finding him? I mean, he can't even walk straight.
Man: I don't know. He was walking really slow but I came in to call the cops.
Me: oh well. Hey- here come the cops.
*6 sherriff cars pull in- not just B'Ville police, but the sherriffs.*
Me: you think you sent enough cops?
cops: Well we're just doing our job.
Me: oh okay. well my car is fine. here's the shovel.
cops: atleast they left you the shovel.
Me: that's what I said!
cops: did you see the man?
Me: no- I was spackling my bathroom.
cops: At 1am?
Me: yes at 1am. I do things like that. (do they think i'm LYING??)
cops: ummm okay.
*cops took our information and inspected the car*
cops: We're going to have someone drive around all night to keep an eye out for your car. This usually doesn't happen in your neighborhood.
Me: Yeah whatever- I'm up all night anyways.
cops: We'll find this man for you.
man: He's in pink pj pants and a white shirt.
man: pink pants.
cops: umm okay.
Me: Well, I'm done out here. I'm going inside. If you need to talk more come inside cause I'm too cold.
*cops sat there looking at the undamaged car for another 30 minutes*
What the hell just happened? It's like something out of a retarted dream. Cops are so challenged sometimes.
Yeah so, you F***ing man in pink pj's, get a life and new pj bottoms cause you look like a girl, and leave my car the F*** alone. You're lucky I didn't see your ass cause I would've chased you and kicked you in your head - or better yet, smashed your skull in with the shovel. HAHA. Loser.