Thursday, May 04, 2006

Drunken man in pink pants???

It's 1:00am and I'm spackling my bathroom so I can paint it in the morning.

**knock** **knock**
(Who the hell is knocking at my door? )
Me: umm can I help you? (don't recognize this man)
Man: Yeah, well, did you know someone is beating on your car?
Me: Huh?
Man: Yeah- I just watched him try to smash your car in with a shovel. He looked drunk.
Me: Okay?
Man: Your car looks fine but I wanted you to know.
Me: umm okay. (apparently he lives below me)
*we proceed out to my car, both of us in pj's and slippers*
Me: Well, atleast he had the courtesy to leave me the shovel.
Man: I called the cops for you. They're already looking for the man.
Me: How far can a drunken man walk without the sherriff's finding him? I mean, he can't even walk straight.
Man: I don't know. He was walking really slow but I came in to call the cops.
Me: oh well. Hey- here come the cops.
*6 sherriff cars pull in- not just B'Ville police, but the sherriffs.*
Me: you think you sent enough cops?
cops: Well we're just doing our job.
Me: oh okay. well my car is fine. here's the shovel.
cops: atleast they left you the shovel.
Me: that's what I said!
cops: did you see the man?
Me: no- I was spackling my bathroom.
cops: At 1am?
Me: yes at 1am. I do things like that. (do they think i'm LYING??)
cops: ummm okay.
*cops took our information and inspected the car*
cops: We're going to have someone drive around all night to keep an eye out for your car. This usually doesn't happen in your neighborhood.
Me: Yeah whatever- I'm up all night anyways.
cops: We'll find this man for you.
man: He's in pink pj pants and a white shirt.
cops: What?
man: pink pants.
cops: umm okay.
Me: Well, I'm done out here. I'm going inside. If you need to talk more come inside cause I'm too cold.
*cops sat there looking at the undamaged car for another 30 minutes*

What the hell just happened? It's like something out of a retarted dream. Cops are so challenged sometimes.

Yeah so, you F***ing man in pink pj's, get a life and new pj bottoms cause you look like a girl, and leave my car the F*** alone. You're lucky I didn't see your ass cause I would've chased you and kicked you in your head - or better yet, smashed your skull in with the shovel. HAHA. Loser.


ErLeCa said...

That is the weirdest thing I've ever heard! What the hell? At least your car is ok...

betsy and noah said...

omg...that is odd. the guy below you..his name is john. he left the shovel? wtf???

Liz said...

That sounds like something that would happen to my car. Except my neighbors wouldn't notice, or if they did notice, wouldn't bother calling the police for me. And instead of causing no damage to my poor car, the guy would've smashed her windshield in. Sad but true.